A Monthly Inspirational Viewpoint of Life’s Journeys with Sonia Wignall
Episode Twelve
The Balanced Life
There are many times in life where unexpected shifts and circumstances cause us to either turn hard, lean in, freeze, or otherwise become unbalanced.
A friend once told me our greatest gift can also become our greatest area of dysfunction. Many years ago, I yearned to become a mom. I like Hannah,(1st Samuel 1:9), prayed to God for a child. No, there was no second wife mocking my bareness, nor was I throwing shade at a husband like Hannah subtly did to her husband Elkana, (for not stepping up to the creation plate), nor was I in the temple, praying like a drunken woman, with the likes of Eli, giving me the “not in here sister” eye.
“I was just a woman yearning to fulfill a part of my life that felt so deeply empty. “
God not only answered my prayer, but he gave me a beautiful son. With my answered prayer in tow, I was ready to fulfill my promise to God, which was “that if he gave me a child, I would serve him through my child.” Unlike Hannah however, I was not ready to promise giving up my weened child to serve in the Temple with Eli.
“My promise to God was big enough and I was all in”.
I became a mom on steroids. I laid aside anything I thought would impede my promise. I ran for the gold mama award, and I once received one. I became a watchman on the wall of my son’s life. He was the center of my heart, and reason for being. I monitored, sacrificed and took all our limited financial resources to provide well for him. I kept my mind focused on his today, and tomorrow. Every decision and investment (books, toys, friends, education, etc), I made was centered on preparing him for his future. I was laser focused on him.
Unfortunately, in all that service and commitment, I was a woman with a focus out of balance. I did not think about the self-care I needed. I did not realize that my greatest worship to God and service to my son was to be a “balanced person”, inside and out. I did not understand that intentionally caring for myself was an important and needed process in my motherhood journey.
Failing to take care of myself meant I allowed my mind, body and soul to function by default, not intent. It also meant I was living vicariously through my son’s life, and was not engaged in a life of my own.
Although we were active in our faith, I was not efficiently applying what I was being taught in my everyday life. An unbalanced soul, cannot hear well, discern well, understand well, appropriate well or remain yielded to the Spirit of God, to be guided well.
Years later, that lack of self-care, and imbalance started affecting every area of my life. I was forced to make a hard stop, assess and begin the process of mindfully re-balancing my life again.
What I learned was that self-care is necessary in order to live a balanced and abundant life. Not only do we as women need to care for ourselves, (inside and out), but our men also.
We all need time to relax, meditate, set personal goals, take me off of work, develop a regular exercise routine, experience a retreat from the daily grind, and treat ourselves. Celebrate and gift ourselves, talk to and affirm ourselves.
We need time to sit quietly and be grateful, plan our futures, continue our educational journeys, take vacations, enjoy nature, family and friends. Listen to transforming podcasts, and music. Read, inhale, exhale, laugh or cry with joy or pain. Self-care is releasing the anger, trauma and sadness of the past, and living intentionally and gratefully in the present. Self-care is getting counseling and support as needed. It is taking responsibility for our decisions, forgiving others, and forgiving ourselves. Self-care helps us move forward gracefully. It is a form of gratitude and worship to God.
It is dusting off their opinion, and dancing into God’s grace. It is you being the wonderful you that God loves, honors and created you to be in his image and your wholeness.
Understanding that you were created for a purpose that only you can fulfill, and that you have many gifts, assignments, and resources available to you is a very powerful realization in your self-care journey.
As you begin to self-care and lead a more internal and external mindful life, you will become a more intentionally relaxed, loving, peaceful and joyous person in every assignment of your life. This is one of the secrets and rewards of a balanced life.
By: Sonia M. Wignall
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