“Pattern Shift Part 2“: Perspective For August 2025

A Monthly Inspirational Viewpoint of Life’s Journeys with Sonia Wignall.

Episode Thirty Seven

Referring back to Alex, the abused character from the movie “MAID”, in part one of this series, I too, (a few years back), had committed my life to an intentional path of discipline and change. Recently, however, I found myself facing a series of challenges I was unprepared for, but had consciously created. Challenges that if I allowed to continue would disrupt the new healthy journey I had committed to.

I was back in a cycle of toxic behavior, triggered by fear.

Failing to create boundaries and guardrails. I forgot to stop, breathe and meditate. Instead, I began to reflect from a deep well of pain, and perceived the challenge as deep failure. I could not see the rich lessons and open doors of opportunities before me to learn, grow and change, as a result of the experience I was going through.

I was processing out of my emotions not my spiritual connection to God, whose wisdom and love is inside of me and will guide me back to the light. He had done this for me many times before.

In my moment of fear and overwhelming sadness, I turned to self-loathing and was blinded by a false belief that the situation I was in was a mountain of failure that would forever block my path forward.

All the triggers that I thought I had overcome, came flooding back.

The consequence of my futile thinking was a hard psychological dismantling of my identity, work and progress. All the time, labor and planning including the wisdom and fruit thereof I considered, at the moment, to be of no value. I found myself back in the very toxic cycle of thought. Hyper focusing on the wrong solutions and “leaning on my own limited understanding”, I was moving towards decisions and behaviors that would be consequential for me and those I lead and serve. Like Solomon, I had failed to remain vigil and intentional in the use of the gifts and the wisdom God has given me.

I was deeply disappointed in myself because I had gone through a difficult 4 year relational cycle where I had allowed myself to remain in a most unhealthy situation. In the space of time and engagement, I exposed my mind, soul and spirit to such spiritual imbalances that I was losing my sense of purpose, assignment and being. That volume of toxicity, flowing like water, was seeping into every area of my life. Fortunately, I had loving friends and an amazing spiritual counselor that surrounded me and led me out of the darkness. Once out, I had to begin re-curating a healthy path for my life.

In the Bible, (1st King 3:3), Solomon said to the Lord, “give me wisdom so I may lead your people and please you”. God gave Solomon wisdom, but even in receiving all of God’s empowering and divine wisdom, Solomon’s lack the discipline and guardrails that would sustain him. Solomon followed his father’s pattern. He became a serial womanizer and brought into the kingdom 700 wives and 300 concubines. He committed the sin that offended and displeased God. The weight of the sin and patterns of these women brought down the kingdom, burned down the temple, and opened the gates for many people to be removed and taken into captivity. The nation Solomon was assigned to lead was left in shambles.

Understanding our current patterns, and when we are on the wrong path, will empower us to seek change. We can then begin the journey of curating a new path for our lives. We must have a willingness to create new subconscious programming, and disrupt our known and practiced patterns of thought and behavior.

The sustained change we are seeking will come slowly, but it will come. We can start by stopping. Yes stopping, right here, right now. That is what both ALEX and I did. We stopped in the moment.

We both knew, gut deep, that the slight crack we had seen in the window was our way of escape, so we took it.

I do not know Alex’s faith but my first step to get back on track was to turn my heart back to God. We have to engage, repent and seek His presence, trust in His ability to lead, guide and take care of us. This is the act of surrender.

We must all remember who we are and that we were created in God’s image. His divine spirit is within us guiding us. We can lean on him, his light, his wisdom, his understanding, and his protection. We are HIS children. Shifting our focus internally and externally to him, will bring understanding and peace. Doing so will move us to operate from a place of strength, faith and commitment. It will take time and patience, but through commitment to the process, change will come.

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Do not conform to the pattern of this world, (says the Lord), but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will for your life. Romans 12:2

“I too have a responsibility to use the tools of wisdom, understanding and guidance, given to me, by the divine Spirit of the Living God in me. By intentionally and systematically using these tools I will be sustained in the health of my mind, body, soul and spirit. My desires, discipline and process will line up with God’s will for my life. This will allow me to remain vigilant of my thoughts and patterns. To disrupt the toxic “fall back’ behavioral patterns in my life.

“This book of the law shall not depart out of your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night and then you shall make your way prosperous and have good success” Joshua 1:8

I owe this intentional and sustained change to myself and the people that I lead and serve. I owe it to my son, and the generations that will follow. I owe it to God for giving me the assignment as a leader.” Sonia M. Wignall

Read Part 1 of this piece HERE.

***Note: “I do not give permission for my writings to be used for AI purposes or content, unless my name is shown and the reference to my work is clear. My work is not AI written”. SMW