A Monthly Inspirational Viewpoint of Life’s Journeys with Sonia Wignall.
Episode Seventeen
The most humble, kind, gifted, grateful, wise and generous man that I have journeyed with, was my father. I love him so very much, and will honor his legacy and unconditional love towards me always. He was my rock and my hero. His life, and legacy continue to have a profound impact on my life. (Read my article “Freedom”.)
Every aspect of my father’s character, especially in his latter years embodied 1st Corinthians 13. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears… and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
My Father had the greatest, he had faith, he lived hope, he was love.
Even with all his amazing gifts and characteristics, some patterns of behavior, established during his early years, were destructive. He had developed habits that would cost him his business, his wealth, and his marriage.
It would be years later before he understood and accepted responsibility for the destructive state of his being. He would then commit himself to spending the rest of his long life in transformation. He spent countless hours reading, studying, learning and applying new behavioral patterns.
He changed his life. For my sisters, brother and I however, the seeds of my father’s early destructive behavior were planted, and we like he did, would witness the consequences of his sin in our lives also. His sins would have the promised generational impact on us all.
This experience for us, testified to God’s promise to “visit the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.” Exodus 34:6-7 = Deuteronomy 5:8-10. In abusive relationships, (mental, physical, emotional), there is a pattern, a history and a cause. We can trace the patterns of abuse back to one or both of the participants who were either exposed to abuse, trauma, or abandonment as children, or were reared by an abusive parent, or parents.
To the participants in the cycle of abuse, the destructive and painful behavioral patterns become the norm. They often know no other way. It will take acceptance of responsibility, commitment and spiritual intervention to break their patterns and cycles of abuse. If not broken, their children will enter abuse relationships and also experience the cycles and trauma of abuse.
Destructive or limited behavioral patterns in any area of our lives is a mindset that can be changed. These patterns can be caused by generational sins, trauma responses, fear responses or desire for safety and familiarity. Patterns of hate, racism, poverty, anger, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, marital challenges, stealing, lying, violence, laziness, aggression, infidelity, womanizing, prostitution, procrastination, disorganization, rigidity, overeating, bulimia, irresponsibility, hoarding etc, are cycles of programmed behaviors within us that has to be broken away and reprogrammed into a new and more enriching mindset that will serve us and those around us better. We should all be encouraged to search out our destructive and limiting behavior patterns.
The process of mind reprogramming and change is challenging. The end result however, will be a wonderful journey of self-actualization. You will then be emotionally and physically free, without internal limitations, to experience the power of a healthy lifestyle as you fulfill the amazing purpose for being on this earth. You can then run the race with deeper purpose, freedom and understanding. You have broken the chains that bind you.
“Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].” Romans 12:2
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“I freed a thousand slaves. I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves.” – Harriet Tubman ____________________________________
“There is no passion to be found playing small in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela
By: Sonia M. Wignall
For more information about the Diaspora Global Foundation, kindly visit their website: www.diasporaglobalfoundation.org.