Legacy – A Place of Refuge: Perspective For September 2025

A Monthly Inspirational Viewpoint of Life’s Journeys with Sonia Wignall.

Episode Thirty Eight

“Pain teaches us, understanding refines us and wisdom re-purpose us”

At 4am ET, on Sunday Mornings, I wake to listen to a powerful podcast “Transformation” by Dr. Lanre Olusola.

The study this week, following the last few weeks, and also on our own weekday prayer line, is “Wisdom”.

I have come to understand not only the function of wisdom in our lives, but the power and understanding that lies within. Dr. Olusola’s podcasts never fail to deliver understanding, wisdom and transformation. This morning’s podcast was on “Wisdom for Legacy”. Speakers Zeal A. Jacobson, and Banke Sotomi, delivered some powerful uncovered truths. They opened the vault of wisdom revelation.

Dr. Olusola gave us an in depth understanding and key characteristics of Legacy that flows out of wisdom. As he spoke I thought about my own legacy, that of my beloved father and grandfather, I also thought of our home.

Over the years God has used our home as a “Place of Refuge”. A safe landing place of rest, wisdom, light and renewal.

Over the course of 20 plus years, we have hosted mostly women in life transition. Once we were called by a friend to take in a single mom, with 4 teenage kids living day to day in a hotel. The mom worked for a large local company, but did not earn enough income to provide for her 4 children. They had been living short term in different homes and hotels for over a year. I turned down my friend’s request for a few days, but she kept on asking. When the family finally arrived, black plastic bags, and kids backpacks in tow, we welcomed them in and made room for them. With five additional persons in our home, how would we expand our budget to provide for their needs? A few friends gave generously, mostly personal items, food, bikes, laptop, etc. By the time they moved, they had most of what was needed to furnish their new living space.

In our home, their mother was in survival mode. She was going to work, functioning, being, living and loving to the best of her wisdom, understanding and strength in the moment.

The default was the effects on the children. Our family supported the family and met them at the point of their need. Reframing from judgement was the challenge of this short journey with them.

Since the children were not registered in school, I pulled out my old homeschool resources. Shelter was not their only need. Continued education was another. I became a homeschool teacher again, although this was a stretch, the family needed this. They had been out of school for months at a time, maybe even a year. I also knew both my dad and grandfather would have done nothing less. This too was part of their legacies.

As we lived with this family, I thought back to our own family’s journey. I left Cuba very young. and do not remember details about life with my grandfather. However, I was often told of his legacy. He was described as a beautiful and impactful figure in our lives. In addition to being a great father and grandfather, he was a community servant. He was a skilled carpenter, gardener and horticulturalist who served his community with kindness and generosity. A man that opened the doors of his home and helped those in need. My dad leveraged the wisdom of that legacy, and did likewise. I too was following the same path.

“Not all who wonders are lost”.

A powerful statement that can keep us out of judgement.

There are always a few common threads of the women that journey through our home. Most are friends, relatives of friends, or referred by a friend. The family of 5 were outliers, although referred by a friend.

Most women come to us for a place of rest, peace, love, safety, and to regain clarity and a new direction for their lives. They need a safe landing place to process and reorganize. They come for short stays, mentioning a few weeks of need. We know it will take them longer. The average stay is 8 – 12 months. No one rushes the process once they are able to relax and breathe again. One mom and child, members of our family, lived with us for 4 years. This particular experience was a beautiful blessing. We are still very, very close to this day.

Some that come to us can contribute, others are starting again. Whether they can contribute or not we accommodate them. Many leave with a grateful heart, some never look back.

One of the most challenging experiences was with a mother of 3 and a wife. She was not at peace within herself nor in her home. She needed to transition out of her marriage and start a new life for herself and her children. Our relationship with them as a family, made this situation challenging for us. She arrived at our home without her children. They were left in the care of their father. They were safe, loved by their dad and close by. They could visit and spend time with their mom as long and as often as possible or needed. Their dad was also welcomed in our home. This was important to her and to us.

This was a hard story for me. Back then I could not imagine a mom leaving her kids behind to find her place of peace and balance. I was so uncomfortable with her journey, and presence in our home, I secretly wanted this woman to go back home, bury her deep pain and be the good wife and mom she was expected to be. Today I understand. To be the mother that her children needed, the partner she wanted to be, she had to care and re-balance herself first.

I lectured her constantly and judged every move she made that did not meet my approval. Consequently her stay with us was short.

“Pain teaches us, understanding refines us and wisdom re-purpose us. Legacy leaves the trail to follow”: Sonia M. Wignall.

After starting my own healing journey and transformation process, I had reached a place of understanding and acceptance of myself and finally of her. I longed to sit with her, affirm her like I could not do before, and join her in celebration of her victories.

I was becoming wisdom and unfolding in the understanding that our greatest strengths lie in our most painful paths. It is not what it took to get us there, it was how the journey shaped and taught us along the way, and the legacy of wisdoms we are responsible for leaving behind. Yesterday, someone knocked on my door. It was her. The woman I had been praying to sit with again. I was overjoyed to see her. She said she passes my home a lot, and always wanted to stop by. The God of redemption sent her to me. I had been longing for this reconciliation. Not for her, but for me. To pour the oil of legacy, love, acceptance and joy on her. Oil I had not allowed her to experience in my home before because I too was too wounded to accept the transitional phases of her life.

I did not allow her to have peace in my home, or give her the resting place she so deeply needed. I was not supportive of her process. I forgot what my grandfather’s and father’s legacies had taught me.

Considering how she started, I never imagined that she would land in a consistent place of safety or rest. I was wrong. She had many challenges along the way, but used every one of them to gather wisdom and strength. She too will leave a powerful legacy for her children.

She remarried several years ago, and has faced many challenges along the path of reconstruction. She is in a peaceful place now. A place of serenity and forgiveness with her past, her ex-husband and herself. They have landed as a close and supportive family. She looks amazing, actually beautiful. I saw, and felt her peace.

The best of all is that we have both come full circle on our healing journeys. Even when and if we wonder, we are not lost. We can land whenever we want. She has forgiven me, and thanked me for even the short time she spent with our family. The beautiful memories she has. The impact that I did not know I had made on her, in spite of.

The doors of “A place of Refuge” opened again two weeks ago. A friend called, “can you please take in my daughter” … etc. Same story, same winds of blowing change. We said. Yes. Another opportunity to continue the legacy of our family. One that I have been given the mantle to carry.

This was God’s plan for our family, our home, our journey, our legacy. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord…”

Now I can see the pattern, the hand of God, the Legacy of my Father and Grandfather.

Our family home, though the legacy and wisdom of our grandfather has been set apart for such a journey

“A Place of Refuge”.

We thank my Father and Grandfather for leaving us a rich legacy of love, wisdom and hospitality and service. We love you Papa.

***Note: “This article was neither AI written nor assisted. It is my own original writing.”